Before I begin today for the last installment of my blog for this season, I would like to take a moment to pass along my condolences to Ashley's family in their time of loss. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for Ashley to lose her sister, Amy Winehouse, they have my sympathy.
So how about dem apples? Ashley picks her man JP and sends Ben off to fish for a new lady for his life, no literally he went home in a fishing boat! And on the wings of love Ashley and JP will ride the fame that is the life of tabloid reality stars. But how did we get here, what happened in those final two hours that actually made the finale interesting enough to watch? Saving you the time of firing up your DVR, I'm here with the highlights.
The first date was with JP, but I'm going to start off with Mr. Excitement, Ben. I don't know what it is about this guy but for some reason he just seemed so even keel that I couldn't tell if he had a pulse or not. Go back a couple weeks to the hometown dates and I think that I actually made the comment that his family looked like they were still attending his dad's funeral 4 years later. Granted it must be tough, but there just didn't look like a lot of life in that family, and these people make wine for a living! Anyway back to Fiji and the Drama initiative (Lost reference /wink), in order to prove how much love that Ashely and Ben had for each other they proceeded to make fake dog noises and look like complete idiots. Warning to all of you young lovers out there, love may make you look silly at times but it's no reason to look like that. It isn't love, it's just sad. And if that is Ashley being herself than wow, poor girl.
All of the above is not to say that Ben is a bad guy, actually I liked him more by nights end. While he basically seemed asleep for the season with the emotional zest of an aging bottle of wine, there was something that seemed genuine about him so you have to respect that. Unfortunately for him, Ashley didn't have that respect, or ABC didn't have that respect, not sure who to blame so let's just point two fingers. Ben fresh of ring shopping arrives in a water plane to ask the women whom he thought he was in love with to be his wife. As he comes to the sacrificial alter just looking at Ashley you knew what was coming, but Ben apparently didn't. He gets down on one knee and asks Ashley to be his wife, professing his love for her. Not to say that Ashley is an attention whore (oops just did) but she let's him go through his whole speech only to pick him up afterwards and tell him to take a hike. Was it her or was it ABC??? I'm really not sure.
Dejected Ben makes the comment of the night.
"All good things end badly."
"Do you really believe that?"
"Apparently" (or something like that)
Great quote, because it's true. Now go sprinkle that on your morning corn flakes, ummmm tastes bitter.
But the humiliation of being rejected on national TV wasn't enough, ABC spared no expense in rubbing in Ben's defeat. Instead of a plane flight back, he was given a 12 foot fishing boat that was left sailing into the open sea of the Pacific. Good luck Ben! I even loved the long walk that they made him take back to the dock, no car, just a long ass walk in front of the camera, now THAT is the walk of shame! The worst part of all of it was that I really think he had a thing for Ashley, I don't speak crazy dog language but it must have been in there where he thought that she was going to be his bitch for life. At least if Ben needs a stiff drink to wash away his sorrow, he has an entire vineyard, and I guess he is already dating again so Go Ben!
Before I talk about JP, I'd just like to point out that, I picked it! You can ask my wife, really early on I thought that JP would be the guy. Oh sure my wife had her reality Steve giving away answers but he was my pick early on. I also picked Alabama two years ago for that National Championship (too much girl talk, must add a little football), I might be a profit, just saying... =)
Anyway JP's visit with the family can be summed up in one conversation, that being the one with Ashley's sister, Amy Winehouse. Being the "rational" one she was quick to judge JP as being wrong for her sister. After all nothing says rational like a divorced, madly tattooed, insensitive bitch. Sure Ashley is an emotional mess, but yeah just yeah... In her five minutes with JP, Amy (yes I know it's Christy, or something like that, don't really care) makes the statement that he isn't right for her sister, sending Ashley into a tailspin of tears yet again this season. FYI, Fiji weren't a set of islands before Ashley and her tears got here. Then Amy went after JP directly with the, "You don't make my sister laugh, so you're wrong for her." JP was pretty good in his response, he played it pretty cool, but was upset, and rightfully so.
The problem for Amy is that she didn't see the rest of the season like we did. JP had an inside track early on, from the ashes of Bentley he rose up. In their first one on one date, he came over to her house after she had just been heartbroken by Bentley, JP was that shoulder to cry on and as such he formed the deepest emotional connection to him at that moment. When Bentley came back, who did she tell first? It wasn't Lucas on his one on one date, nope it was JP, then she told the rest of the guys who then freaked out. It was clear at the moment that she told him when Bentley came back that he was the guy that she was going to pick. They might have gone too far down the friendship road, and that may still burn them, but so far so good.
I saw that the tabloids are already going after JP saying that he is a player and what not, but I don't see it. Too me he looked honest, he looked like a guy that had been hurt in the past and was moving on with his life. I don't think that he was on the rebound, I think that he was just over it with the past, been there done that. Ashley on the other hand, I'm not so sure about...
Ashley's bond with JP formed in the wreckage of the Bentley disaster, and was reaffirmed when he came back. Ashley just appears to lack any self confidence, from her continual need for attention, her checklists of where the relationships are at, and her diverse collection of stripper clothes, she just doesn't seem to be emotionally stable. Hell her sister even kind of told us that, Ashley wasn't herself around JP, is that a bad thing??? Sometimes it's not about what you want but about what you need, I could be wrong but JP, being older might have been the stability that she needs, and she knows it in her mind, but her heart might not be ready to come along for the ride. I guess we'll see. I liked JP early on, he's the type of guy that I would hang with, so hopefully it works out for the both of them, I don't really like Ashley but whatever, here's to hoping for him. I'm sure the tabloids will come out next week telling us all what a terrible guy he is and I'll look really stupid. I should probably practice my dog talk in preparation.
So in the end do I think that they will make it? Actually yes. I was going to say no because I was thinking that Ashley would get bored and move on, but he seems to be completely infatuated with her, thus she'll hold his attention, her being the attention whore, seems like a good fit.
And with that, the season is over and my blog goes back into hiding until the time is right to bring it back out of the shadows and mock something else going on on TV. Sadly I can't see ever doing something like a Lost write up again, but oh how I wish... So if anyone happens to write for a magazine, I'm looking for a place to write more of my nonsense, imagine if I took the time to proof read I might be amazing!!! Just kidding, I'll still suck, but it won't stop me from writing, just like the graceful Albatross as it makes a perfect landing, so shall I.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AsOjx_Twtw&feature=related
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Ashley, the dating fembot
There was a point last night where I just felt sad for all of those that had signed up to be on the show. Actually it wasn't a single point, it was more like a specific point for each person on the show. For Ben it had to be where he was poring out all of his emotions about his dad on national TV, and Ashley just kind of sitting there. For JP it was his family constantly bringing up his failed past relationship, no idea what it was, but I have a feeling it had something to do with his ex cheating on him. Seriously if you're on the show, just tell us what happened, it sure would have been a lot more exciting then the 2 hours of crap that we got to sit through last night.
Then there was Ames, poor poor Ames. Maybe it's just me being bad, but I couldn't help but laugh out loud when he didn't get a rose. I was reminded of the old Bugs Bunny cartoons where the dog would be left in the country on the side of the road wondering if his master was coming back. The man was clearly blindsided by Ashley's calculated decision (more on that in a moment) to let him go. I felt bad for the guy because he really looked so completely innocent in that moment, but still it was funny. Am I bad for laughing at his anguish, naw, it's reality TV, he signed up for it.
So what about Ashley? Thankfully she was wearing clothes this week, that's a plus, maybe we need the parents to come along to Fiji. A little skin from time to time is ok, but when it's all the time, it just gets trashy and desperate, I guess I'm going to get a whole lot of trashy and desperate next week aren't I, oh brother. But this isn't Project Runway (I just realized that I know far too many of my wives shows, I'm a little shaken by this) no this is the Dating Game, yes it's a game, if you think it's a serious effort to find love and romance, then you probably also think that the vampires in Twilight are cool, they're not, vampires aren't allowed to go out in the daylight. No the Bachelorette has been reduced to who can get into Ashley's skin tight pants by the end of the show. There is no love here, it's all a game, and you know what, I'm sad that it is, I actually would like to see a show where these people had real emotions, where you could root and hope for them. Sorry tangent...
Anyway getting back to my point, Ashley is approaching this like a robot. In your life how many times have you ever made the comment, "I like the direction where this relationship is going." or "I think that we're at this point in the relationship..." When you fall in love with someone you're not spending the whole time analyzing where you're at in the relationship, it's not something that needs to be said, you just are. Instead Ashley is keeping a leader board for where each guy is in their relationship with her. Who is ahead this week? Has our relationship hit this milestone yet... It's all a paint by the numbers relationship where everything is supposed to meet a checklist and if it gets checked off then the relationship can go forward. Outside of Bentley I haven't seen anything from Ashley that actually looks like she has any emotions inside of her at all. Besides for the emotions that she is "supposed" to have during a given event. And I think that is my biggest problem with her, none of it seems genuine, it all seems like she doesn't know how to be herself so she spends the entire time trying to be the person that she is supposed to be at that moment. It's hard to describe but it just doesn't look real.
Case in point of how robotic that Ashley is. When Ames's sister was telling her about Ames's father and step father both dieing of cancer, Ashely just sat there with a smile nodding her head. To me it just looked like she wasn't interested in what the sister had to say, instead it was Ashley waiting to get back to her getting approval from the sister, again the check list.
How about Constantine's family and how Ashley was with them. Ok sure she got into the dancing, but Ashley's happy face there looks the same as her happy face in all of the other situations in past weeks. It's that look of "I think I'm happy, I'm supposed to be happy." But not the look of "I am happy". Might just be me...
Still the only guy that she should pick at the end of this is JP, the guy actually has feeling for her. And I believe him when he says that he knows where he is after his past relationship. So while I can't really see Ashley as being any sort of catch, good luck to him, he looks to have genuine feelings to me so hopefully that works out. Too bad according to the tabloids it doesn't but hey here is to hope.
So next week we get to see "The best place in the world to fall in love with someone." Fiji, no wait I thought the best place to fall in love with someone was Thailand, or was that Taiwan, or was it Hong Honk??? It seems like everyplace is the "The best place to fall in love". ABC seriously it's just getting sad now. Just pick one and move on with it, don't keep feeding them lines on what to say. It's reality TV if you think the people you picked are boring, do us all a favor and pick better people.
That's my thoughts on this week. Sorry if I don't have much better to say about the show, but the two hours that it's on really drag on. The take home dates are the same every season, everyone is all supportive but one family member has to grill the bachelor or bachelorette and then in the end approve of them. Next week it will be a very neat date that ends with a romantic dinner and a ticket to the fantasy suite, wooooooooooooooooooo. And I'll just leave it at that.
Then there was Ames, poor poor Ames. Maybe it's just me being bad, but I couldn't help but laugh out loud when he didn't get a rose. I was reminded of the old Bugs Bunny cartoons where the dog would be left in the country on the side of the road wondering if his master was coming back. The man was clearly blindsided by Ashley's calculated decision (more on that in a moment) to let him go. I felt bad for the guy because he really looked so completely innocent in that moment, but still it was funny. Am I bad for laughing at his anguish, naw, it's reality TV, he signed up for it.
So what about Ashley? Thankfully she was wearing clothes this week, that's a plus, maybe we need the parents to come along to Fiji. A little skin from time to time is ok, but when it's all the time, it just gets trashy and desperate, I guess I'm going to get a whole lot of trashy and desperate next week aren't I, oh brother. But this isn't Project Runway (I just realized that I know far too many of my wives shows, I'm a little shaken by this) no this is the Dating Game, yes it's a game, if you think it's a serious effort to find love and romance, then you probably also think that the vampires in Twilight are cool, they're not, vampires aren't allowed to go out in the daylight. No the Bachelorette has been reduced to who can get into Ashley's skin tight pants by the end of the show. There is no love here, it's all a game, and you know what, I'm sad that it is, I actually would like to see a show where these people had real emotions, where you could root and hope for them. Sorry tangent...
Anyway getting back to my point, Ashley is approaching this like a robot. In your life how many times have you ever made the comment, "I like the direction where this relationship is going." or "I think that we're at this point in the relationship..." When you fall in love with someone you're not spending the whole time analyzing where you're at in the relationship, it's not something that needs to be said, you just are. Instead Ashley is keeping a leader board for where each guy is in their relationship with her. Who is ahead this week? Has our relationship hit this milestone yet... It's all a paint by the numbers relationship where everything is supposed to meet a checklist and if it gets checked off then the relationship can go forward. Outside of Bentley I haven't seen anything from Ashley that actually looks like she has any emotions inside of her at all. Besides for the emotions that she is "supposed" to have during a given event. And I think that is my biggest problem with her, none of it seems genuine, it all seems like she doesn't know how to be herself so she spends the entire time trying to be the person that she is supposed to be at that moment. It's hard to describe but it just doesn't look real.
Case in point of how robotic that Ashley is. When Ames's sister was telling her about Ames's father and step father both dieing of cancer, Ashely just sat there with a smile nodding her head. To me it just looked like she wasn't interested in what the sister had to say, instead it was Ashley waiting to get back to her getting approval from the sister, again the check list.
How about Constantine's family and how Ashley was with them. Ok sure she got into the dancing, but Ashley's happy face there looks the same as her happy face in all of the other situations in past weeks. It's that look of "I think I'm happy, I'm supposed to be happy." But not the look of "I am happy". Might just be me...
Still the only guy that she should pick at the end of this is JP, the guy actually has feeling for her. And I believe him when he says that he knows where he is after his past relationship. So while I can't really see Ashley as being any sort of catch, good luck to him, he looks to have genuine feelings to me so hopefully that works out. Too bad according to the tabloids it doesn't but hey here is to hope.
So next week we get to see "The best place in the world to fall in love with someone." Fiji, no wait I thought the best place to fall in love with someone was Thailand, or was that Taiwan, or was it Hong Honk??? It seems like everyplace is the "The best place to fall in love". ABC seriously it's just getting sad now. Just pick one and move on with it, don't keep feeding them lines on what to say. It's reality TV if you think the people you picked are boring, do us all a favor and pick better people.
That's my thoughts on this week. Sorry if I don't have much better to say about the show, but the two hours that it's on really drag on. The take home dates are the same every season, everyone is all supportive but one family member has to grill the bachelor or bachelorette and then in the end approve of them. Next week it will be a very neat date that ends with a romantic dinner and a ticket to the fantasy suite, wooooooooooooooooooo. And I'll just leave it at that.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Bachelorette - Reality bites
Today's isn't as funny, with 2 hours worth of show to talk about it's tough to cover everything.
I find myself in a little bit of a problem writing this blog this morning. The normal side of me wants to just tear into the show once again, because I find enjoyment out of that sort of thing. But the other half of me was struck last night by a feeling of sympathy for poor old Ashley. I mean let's face it, there is TONS of things that could be pulled from the episode last night that would constitute as funny, but now it might just be mean. At the end of the show last night it was hard not to feel bad for her, and that's when we realized that you know what, it's finally become a reality TV show.
But Adam, it's always been a reality show. Right... Last night was interesting because Ashley was completely blown away by how the guys rejected her explanation about Bentley, and that was when it all became real. At that moment, and after watching the show for a couple years with my wife, that was the first time that it really looked like the emotions were 100% genuine. It just always seemed in the past that the emotions were manufactured to a good extent by the situations and the editing, heck even Ashley's feelings for Bentley didn't seem altogether real, and we know where he stood on the whole thing. So watching the guys blow up in her face and her breaking down into tears was refreshing to me, here was reality TV where people actually got hurt by each others actions. Not like getting mad on Survivor that someone betrayed your alliance, "uh duh they're trying to win too, it was only a matter of time" or Keeping up with the Kardassians, "My butt is so big, it's soo hard to be rich and famous for no reason, and then to have people only look at my butt after making a sex tape. It's just soo hard and people don't understand" type of reality.
(Of course Amazing Race is still the best in my opinion, you can't fake a crappy taxi ride in India. Man I'd love to go on that show.)
So with all of that being said, how on Earth can I possibly rip on Ashley and her stripper platform heels? Maybe I'll just have to write this and then come back months later after everyone reads it and sees that I'm going soft and then re-edit in some footage, er I mean text so that I won't look like a tool. If only I knew where to find an example of that type of clever clean up... Oh I know... Last night...
During the first 5 minutes of the show you had Ashley doing a voice over which basically made her sound a lot tougher about the whole Bentley thing than she did last week. I mean ABC would never go back and rework the episode a little bit to make Ashley look a little better now would they??? It's not on the level of Han shooting first, but it's kind of funny that they might do it.
(As for the Han shot first reference, in the original Star Wars, Han Solo is confronted with a bounty hunter in the cantina. When the alien [Geedo] says that he's going to turn him in to Jaba for the bounty, Han shoots and kills him. In the re-editted versions that Lucas has since put out, the movie has been editted so that Greedo shoots at Han and misses and then Han shoots in retaliation. To make it look like Han is a better hero or something.)
Oh sorry I got off on a major tangent there.
So after typing for the last 20 minutes talking about everything except the show, let's talk about the show. Ashley after a night of rewirtting history meets up with Chris in the CONRAD hotel (thank you ABC, if I ever travel to Hong Kong I will make sure that I stay there) at which time Chris tells Ashley that Bentley is there in the hotel. Ashley quickly tells Chris to "shut up". My wife would latter tell me that she wasn't really telling him to shut up, it was just an expression. I'll never understand women...
Anyway she makes her way up to his room, what I want to know is what was she really thinking at this point? Was she thinking that oh boy he came back for me, now we can go get married. Was she thinking, he's here so that I can finally get closure and move on with "the process"? I'm going with the whole narration at the beginning of the show was bullshit and that she wasn't looking for closure, she was really hoping that upon opening that door that he was going to rejoin the show.
So she knocks on the door and he answers, "Who is it?" Really? There is a freakin peep hole in the door you moron. Granted she's only like 4 feet tall, but come on. The conversation after that point is essentially more of him trying to lead her on and that once the show is over she should still come to Salt Lake to see him and see if it works out. At some point I'm guessing that ABC stepped in and told her off camera what he had really said to the cameras so that she would actually be pressed enough to get to the bottom of his crap. And good for Ashley, it really looked genuine where she realized what an idiot that she had been, you go girl! lol
Someone is probably asking, why did Bentley even come back on the show so that she could confront him? Two reasons, more fame, which will play out wonderfully when he is on Bachelor Pad, and the second they gave him a free trip to Hong Kong to stay for 5 days and 6 nights at the luxurious Conrad hotel, located in downtown Hong Kong. While there, he'll enjoy taking in the local cuisine, traveling to the legendary great wall, and, oh wait sorry I'm doing my commercial thing again... (dot dot dot, bastards ruined those for me).
On to date number 1, Lucas the oil man from shithole, I mean Odessa, Texas. Anyone else wonder if he played for the high school football team there? I hear it's a big thing there Friday nights, under the lights...
Fresh on the rebound we found our two lovebirds wondering the streets of Hong Kong in what is the theme this season of shopping in street markets. On the junk the two of them had what looked like a very odd romantic dinner where Lucas went on to tell Ashley about his ex and how that just didn't work out, yada yada yada. I really thought that she wasn't going to give him a rose, they just don't seem like a real couple. Ashley is a women with big city dreams and looks like she wants more than to be a dentist in Philadelphia. Lucas on the other hand is as Western Texas as you can get, he's small town, he works in an oil field, or something like that, seriously he's not too far from Jet and Cord from the Amazing Race last season. It's not an insult, he's just very different than her. But here he is being open and honest with her about his past, and hey he got a rose for it.
Now let's jump to the final part of the show, weren't we all expecting that Lucas was going to give that rose back to Ashley? I mean shouldn't he have? Here he was being open and honest with her and in return she's holding back telling him about what just happened with Bentley the day before. To make matters worse, she actually told JP on their one on one date a couple days later. If I'm Lucas, I'm out. If she feels that she can tell another man about what is going on and her emotions but can't tell me, then who is she closer to? Dude she just picked someone else over you. Sure you might have a rose, but if you know you're her second choice why stick around at that point?
Blaa Blaa Blaa Dragon boats and some filler crap...
Everyone hates Ryan, but Ryan gets the rose on the group date. Much to the ire of Blake, who can't see what she sees in him and why he should even be there if she had and interest in a guy like that.
The date with JP was the usual date, but he has to be the front runner at this point. She talked to him about Bentley and he didn't flip out. Of all the guys on the show, he's the one that I'm having a beer with, he's the most down to Earth. The only question with him that I can see with Ashley is, is he too much of a friend, does she see him more as a friend or a husband? Based on the previews that they showed for the coming weeks, I'm going to to guess that Ashley is soo screwed up that she won't know either and in trying to "protect herself" she'll send him home thinking that they don't have that romantic spark, only to realize her mistake later and want to bring him back. Makes for a great twist and it sure plays out like a Romantic Comedy if I've ever seen one.
(Plot of Romantic Comedy: Girl falls in love with guy, guy is not in love with girl and breaks her heart. Girl then rushes to her guy friend and tells him everything, all the while the guy is secretly crushing on her. Then girl finds a new guy that she is romantically interested in, but she is confused, most likely pushing the friend guy away at some point. Finally she realizes that she isn't really in love with the guy she thought she was, she's missing the guy she sent away. Eventually she sees the friend that she sent away and begs for him to give her another chance. At which time, he says that he always loved her and always will, they go get married and live happily ever after.)
So finally after all of my rambling, we get to the cocktail party... =D
Fresh off her amazing date with JP, Ashley feels that she now has the confidence to tell all of the guys about what was really going on with Bentley. Putting her best spin on it, she says that she now has closure and is ready to move on and is cheerful as ever. The music slowly fades away and the guys now start asking questions, more like ripping into her. The guys have every right to be pissed at her, and they let her know it. After she was led on by Bentley, she essentially led them on as well. Reason says you have to just get over it, in life it's not like you find one person and that is it you date many people and eventually find that right person. The show is an accelerated level of that process, do they have a right to be mad, yes, but take it for what it is. And that includes you Blake, man what an asshole.
It was interesting to see how all of the guys reacted.
Blake - Pissed off, jumped down her throat about it in frustration.
Ames - "I spent the night in a hospital and she thinking about another guy." - actual quote
Mickey - I'm out
Lucas - Just got hit with the freight truck of betrayal. Why didn't he leave? My guess is that his ex-wife cheated on him, so he's just holding on.
Ryan - Ryan was interesting, it didn't really seem to phase him. All of the other guys have a problem with him, but I'm actually coming back to the side that he might not be such a bad guy. He just took it in stride, was that being rational, or something else?
Others - Generally pissed off
Next week will be interesting to see how the guys respond to the news that Ashley had been thinking about another guy the whole time. It's very reasonable for all of them to abandon her as a result, but it's going to be the ones that are genuinely understanding that she should pick to be with. She seemed truly guilty for how she felt, but the guys will have to have their guard up now. Should be interesting, and interestingly enough, everything actually got real on reality TV.
I'm sure next week will let me down.
I find myself in a little bit of a problem writing this blog this morning. The normal side of me wants to just tear into the show once again, because I find enjoyment out of that sort of thing. But the other half of me was struck last night by a feeling of sympathy for poor old Ashley. I mean let's face it, there is TONS of things that could be pulled from the episode last night that would constitute as funny, but now it might just be mean. At the end of the show last night it was hard not to feel bad for her, and that's when we realized that you know what, it's finally become a reality TV show.
But Adam, it's always been a reality show. Right... Last night was interesting because Ashley was completely blown away by how the guys rejected her explanation about Bentley, and that was when it all became real. At that moment, and after watching the show for a couple years with my wife, that was the first time that it really looked like the emotions were 100% genuine. It just always seemed in the past that the emotions were manufactured to a good extent by the situations and the editing, heck even Ashley's feelings for Bentley didn't seem altogether real, and we know where he stood on the whole thing. So watching the guys blow up in her face and her breaking down into tears was refreshing to me, here was reality TV where people actually got hurt by each others actions. Not like getting mad on Survivor that someone betrayed your alliance, "uh duh they're trying to win too, it was only a matter of time" or Keeping up with the Kardassians, "My butt is so big, it's soo hard to be rich and famous for no reason, and then to have people only look at my butt after making a sex tape. It's just soo hard and people don't understand" type of reality.
(Of course Amazing Race is still the best in my opinion, you can't fake a crappy taxi ride in India. Man I'd love to go on that show.)
So with all of that being said, how on Earth can I possibly rip on Ashley and her stripper platform heels? Maybe I'll just have to write this and then come back months later after everyone reads it and sees that I'm going soft and then re-edit in some footage, er I mean text so that I won't look like a tool. If only I knew where to find an example of that type of clever clean up... Oh I know... Last night...
During the first 5 minutes of the show you had Ashley doing a voice over which basically made her sound a lot tougher about the whole Bentley thing than she did last week. I mean ABC would never go back and rework the episode a little bit to make Ashley look a little better now would they??? It's not on the level of Han shooting first, but it's kind of funny that they might do it.
(As for the Han shot first reference, in the original Star Wars, Han Solo is confronted with a bounty hunter in the cantina. When the alien [Geedo] says that he's going to turn him in to Jaba for the bounty, Han shoots and kills him. In the re-editted versions that Lucas has since put out, the movie has been editted so that Greedo shoots at Han and misses and then Han shoots in retaliation. To make it look like Han is a better hero or something.)
Oh sorry I got off on a major tangent there.
So after typing for the last 20 minutes talking about everything except the show, let's talk about the show. Ashley after a night of rewirtting history meets up with Chris in the CONRAD hotel (thank you ABC, if I ever travel to Hong Kong I will make sure that I stay there) at which time Chris tells Ashley that Bentley is there in the hotel. Ashley quickly tells Chris to "shut up". My wife would latter tell me that she wasn't really telling him to shut up, it was just an expression. I'll never understand women...
Anyway she makes her way up to his room, what I want to know is what was she really thinking at this point? Was she thinking that oh boy he came back for me, now we can go get married. Was she thinking, he's here so that I can finally get closure and move on with "the process"? I'm going with the whole narration at the beginning of the show was bullshit and that she wasn't looking for closure, she was really hoping that upon opening that door that he was going to rejoin the show.
So she knocks on the door and he answers, "Who is it?" Really? There is a freakin peep hole in the door you moron. Granted she's only like 4 feet tall, but come on. The conversation after that point is essentially more of him trying to lead her on and that once the show is over she should still come to Salt Lake to see him and see if it works out. At some point I'm guessing that ABC stepped in and told her off camera what he had really said to the cameras so that she would actually be pressed enough to get to the bottom of his crap. And good for Ashley, it really looked genuine where she realized what an idiot that she had been, you go girl! lol
Someone is probably asking, why did Bentley even come back on the show so that she could confront him? Two reasons, more fame, which will play out wonderfully when he is on Bachelor Pad, and the second they gave him a free trip to Hong Kong to stay for 5 days and 6 nights at the luxurious Conrad hotel, located in downtown Hong Kong. While there, he'll enjoy taking in the local cuisine, traveling to the legendary great wall, and, oh wait sorry I'm doing my commercial thing again... (dot dot dot, bastards ruined those for me).
On to date number 1, Lucas the oil man from shithole, I mean Odessa, Texas. Anyone else wonder if he played for the high school football team there? I hear it's a big thing there Friday nights, under the lights...
Fresh on the rebound we found our two lovebirds wondering the streets of Hong Kong in what is the theme this season of shopping in street markets. On the junk the two of them had what looked like a very odd romantic dinner where Lucas went on to tell Ashley about his ex and how that just didn't work out, yada yada yada. I really thought that she wasn't going to give him a rose, they just don't seem like a real couple. Ashley is a women with big city dreams and looks like she wants more than to be a dentist in Philadelphia. Lucas on the other hand is as Western Texas as you can get, he's small town, he works in an oil field, or something like that, seriously he's not too far from Jet and Cord from the Amazing Race last season. It's not an insult, he's just very different than her. But here he is being open and honest with her about his past, and hey he got a rose for it.
Now let's jump to the final part of the show, weren't we all expecting that Lucas was going to give that rose back to Ashley? I mean shouldn't he have? Here he was being open and honest with her and in return she's holding back telling him about what just happened with Bentley the day before. To make matters worse, she actually told JP on their one on one date a couple days later. If I'm Lucas, I'm out. If she feels that she can tell another man about what is going on and her emotions but can't tell me, then who is she closer to? Dude she just picked someone else over you. Sure you might have a rose, but if you know you're her second choice why stick around at that point?
Blaa Blaa Blaa Dragon boats and some filler crap...
Everyone hates Ryan, but Ryan gets the rose on the group date. Much to the ire of Blake, who can't see what she sees in him and why he should even be there if she had and interest in a guy like that.
The date with JP was the usual date, but he has to be the front runner at this point. She talked to him about Bentley and he didn't flip out. Of all the guys on the show, he's the one that I'm having a beer with, he's the most down to Earth. The only question with him that I can see with Ashley is, is he too much of a friend, does she see him more as a friend or a husband? Based on the previews that they showed for the coming weeks, I'm going to to guess that Ashley is soo screwed up that she won't know either and in trying to "protect herself" she'll send him home thinking that they don't have that romantic spark, only to realize her mistake later and want to bring him back. Makes for a great twist and it sure plays out like a Romantic Comedy if I've ever seen one.
(Plot of Romantic Comedy: Girl falls in love with guy, guy is not in love with girl and breaks her heart. Girl then rushes to her guy friend and tells him everything, all the while the guy is secretly crushing on her. Then girl finds a new guy that she is romantically interested in, but she is confused, most likely pushing the friend guy away at some point. Finally she realizes that she isn't really in love with the guy she thought she was, she's missing the guy she sent away. Eventually she sees the friend that she sent away and begs for him to give her another chance. At which time, he says that he always loved her and always will, they go get married and live happily ever after.)
So finally after all of my rambling, we get to the cocktail party... =D
Fresh off her amazing date with JP, Ashley feels that she now has the confidence to tell all of the guys about what was really going on with Bentley. Putting her best spin on it, she says that she now has closure and is ready to move on and is cheerful as ever. The music slowly fades away and the guys now start asking questions, more like ripping into her. The guys have every right to be pissed at her, and they let her know it. After she was led on by Bentley, she essentially led them on as well. Reason says you have to just get over it, in life it's not like you find one person and that is it you date many people and eventually find that right person. The show is an accelerated level of that process, do they have a right to be mad, yes, but take it for what it is. And that includes you Blake, man what an asshole.
It was interesting to see how all of the guys reacted.
Blake - Pissed off, jumped down her throat about it in frustration.
Ames - "I spent the night in a hospital and she thinking about another guy." - actual quote
Mickey - I'm out
Lucas - Just got hit with the freight truck of betrayal. Why didn't he leave? My guess is that his ex-wife cheated on him, so he's just holding on.
Ryan - Ryan was interesting, it didn't really seem to phase him. All of the other guys have a problem with him, but I'm actually coming back to the side that he might not be such a bad guy. He just took it in stride, was that being rational, or something else?
Others - Generally pissed off
Next week will be interesting to see how the guys respond to the news that Ashley had been thinking about another guy the whole time. It's very reasonable for all of them to abandon her as a result, but it's going to be the ones that are genuinely understanding that she should pick to be with. She seemed truly guilty for how she felt, but the guys will have to have their guard up now. Should be interesting, and interestingly enough, everything actually got real on reality TV.
I'm sure next week will let me down.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The Bachelorette - Fit to be Thai'd
Previously on the Bachelorette, 25 single men travelled to Los Angeles to battle for the affections of one woman. Little did they know that this adventure in love was going to take them around the world to Thailand "the perfect place for a person to fall in love" (wink wink). How could you not, from the constant rain to more rain and then a bunch of 1000 ruins that you aren't allowed to kiss in front of, what could be more romantic? Paris, New York, Hawaii, the local water treatment plant...
Thankfully us the viewers, all of the locals where the Bachelors are sequestered to drink for days on end also serve as train stations for the inevitable train wreck that is ensuing. I heard that this is the worst season yet, and while that may be true (honestly I don't know, I don't pay "that" much attention to it) it has quickly become great fodder to laugh at and not with, yes William I'm looking at you, such the awesome guy. Not only did you make the woman that your "competing" for cry because you said what we were all thinking (we wish the Bachelorette had been one of the other women) but you took an insecure women and cut her down to the 4 foot height that she is, well played sir.
But I'll get to more on Sir William a little bit later, first lets meet our Bachelorette the insecure dentist from Maine (oh yes I watched last year too!) who hopelessly has her head so far up Bentley's ass that she could examine his teeth from the inside. You know who she reminds me of, that chick that was on Millionaire Matchmaker that went out with the super hot guy and was promising to buy him a motorcycle and other stuff, yes Ashley is that desperate for love, well not love, how about attention, yeah that's the word for it.
If she wasn't enough of a basket case last season from the moment in the hot tub (oh crap I was paying lots of attention last year wasn't I?) where she questioned Brad's motives, we should have known then that she was mental. And I'm sorry no amount of hair color is going to change that (looked better as a blond too, and I don't like blonde's, that's saying a lot). So here we are 5 or so weeks into the season half way around the world and all we get to hear is how much she really misses Bentley.
Honestly I am starting to really like Bentley right about now, why? Because without him we'd just get crap like we've gotten to watch the last two weeks, a failed romance on a show that has become a broken premise. Where the couple is probably already broken up by the time the show airs. But with Bentley we get to see the stupidity of a helplessly insecure woman pining over a guy that essentially played her for the fool that she is. If anything Ashley should be a lesson to any young girl out there watching this that there are just some guys that are looking to play you. What is worst is that ABC rather than let her off the hook by showing her the videos of Bentley saying that he was playing her, they let the drama play out in a sick way just to punish this poor girl in the hopes to get more ratings. And you thought that Disney was a nice company, shame on you (ABC is owned by Disney if you were unaware).
So next week we got a quick preview of Ashley having to contain herself from jumping into bed with Bentley right then and there in Hong Kong as I'm sure that he will tell her what he was really thinking. Why would he be honest now? I'm sure that it's a deal with ABC, he gets a trip to Hong Kong and gets to let his infamy grow so that he can be a special villain on Bachelor pad (oh wow do I pay attention to this set of shows). At which time Chris Harrison can stop looking annoyed at Ashley and the guys can start rejecting roses from her once she comes clean with them.
And seriously why wouldn't they reject a rose from this bimbo (yes that is the correct term, I looked it up). She obviously has no interest in any of the guys outside of wanting to be the center of their attention. There is no chemistry between her or any of the guys because she has spent so much time thinking about Bentley (aaahhhhhhhhhhh, Bentley......) And to top it off, as Jen and I were talking, she's not ready for a relationship anyway, she is focused on her career and too worried about having fun rather than settling down (again, see last season). If you ask me she's basically one step up from stripper pole dancer, where the back story is that Daddy didn't love her enough and she does it so that she can feel special from other men.
But I could go on about Ashley for ages, instead let's get to the meat of the episode last night...
First off the date with the Elephant whisperer, who had about as much personality as his J Crew red and blue stripped shorts. Wasn't it so cute how they kind of matched outfits? Anyway nothing was saying romance like walking around in the flea market shopping for tourist bargains and street Thai food. The best moment of the date being where they were posed in front of some ancient temple but weren't allowed to kiss because it was taboo. Ok seriously ABC this is where you are tripping over yourself to try and make something out of nothing. The goal of the shot was to make it look like there was some built up sexual tension between the two of them, instead what we got was an awkward conversation about the weather (ok maybe it wasn't about the weather, but were you really paying attention at that point either?). The date mercifully ending in the middle of a neat flower arrangement with the two of them kissing and some guy spitting fire. I guess that this was supposed to be the firey release of all that tension from the day. Seriously ABC, just stop your embarrassing yourself here.
Date 2, the group date...
"Gentlemen, welcome to fight club" man would I have loved to have seen Tyler Durden pop out and start making soap (sorry had to reassert some masculinity), I'm sure Ames saw him anyway, probably told the doctor that he fell down some stairs. Ok enough with the Fight Club jokes, they were for me.
My question with the whole boxing thing was, why? Was it to make it look like they were fighting over Ashley, if so wouldn't you volunteer to get your ass kicked? Or was it to make them look like manly men? Or just to put one of the guys in pink shorts to get a couple quick jokes? Honestly there wasn't another color than Pink in the whole rainbow?
"Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?" - Reservoir Dogs
My guess is that the whole thing was kind of a set up where at least one of them was going to get hurt and ABC knew it. The question being how would Ashley respond to the guy that got hurt, would she rush to his bedside to see if he was ok? Uh nope, bye Ames, I have all these other guys to go spend time with who are concious. Was it to see if she was going to be attracted to the "toughest" guy there? Didn't really matter anyway, the whole time the blood sport was going on all she could think about was Bentley anyway. So go ahead guys beat the crap out of each other, she "really cares"...
The best three moments on the rest of the date were. One when Ashley was feeling bad for some reason and Ryan decided that it was a great time to just talk about himself, now I see why she likes him. Two when Ames shows up and looks like he just landed on another planet, that was great. And Third when she game the rose to the first guy that said he needed reassurance, and not the guy that was sent to the hospital, classy!
And finally the 2 on 1 date, since they already stole my Mad Max joke, I guess I can't make another one. Let's just call this date what it was douches for elephants, which honestly might have been more interesting (note to self hit up youtube to test that theory... I'm kidding, I'll use justin.tv =) ). Right out of the gate Sir William tells Ashley that the other guy (don't know his name or care) was talking about looking into online dating when he got back after the show. Instantly she gets up and tells the other guy that the date is over and that he's taking the first raft back to the states. Way to go Ashley, I'm sure he was a douche, but you didn't even talk to him, classy!
Later on you kind of knew what was coming, Sir William being the awesome uneducated cell phone salesman that he is was feeling pretty awesome for himself. Right up until Ashley decided that she was changing service providers (ok that was cheesy).
In the end it's sad that JP and Ames seem to actually like Ashley, why is beyond me, but hey someone for everyone right. And since those guys seem pretty cool, hopefully for them they will find what they are looking for.
Until next week (oh yeah I might just have to keep this up, hell I'm watching this train wreck anyway) stay classy!
Thankfully us the viewers, all of the locals where the Bachelors are sequestered to drink for days on end also serve as train stations for the inevitable train wreck that is ensuing. I heard that this is the worst season yet, and while that may be true (honestly I don't know, I don't pay "that" much attention to it) it has quickly become great fodder to laugh at and not with, yes William I'm looking at you, such the awesome guy. Not only did you make the woman that your "competing" for cry because you said what we were all thinking (we wish the Bachelorette had been one of the other women) but you took an insecure women and cut her down to the 4 foot height that she is, well played sir.
But I'll get to more on Sir William a little bit later, first lets meet our Bachelorette the insecure dentist from Maine (oh yes I watched last year too!) who hopelessly has her head so far up Bentley's ass that she could examine his teeth from the inside. You know who she reminds me of, that chick that was on Millionaire Matchmaker that went out with the super hot guy and was promising to buy him a motorcycle and other stuff, yes Ashley is that desperate for love, well not love, how about attention, yeah that's the word for it.
If she wasn't enough of a basket case last season from the moment in the hot tub (oh crap I was paying lots of attention last year wasn't I?) where she questioned Brad's motives, we should have known then that she was mental. And I'm sorry no amount of hair color is going to change that (looked better as a blond too, and I don't like blonde's, that's saying a lot). So here we are 5 or so weeks into the season half way around the world and all we get to hear is how much she really misses Bentley.
Honestly I am starting to really like Bentley right about now, why? Because without him we'd just get crap like we've gotten to watch the last two weeks, a failed romance on a show that has become a broken premise. Where the couple is probably already broken up by the time the show airs. But with Bentley we get to see the stupidity of a helplessly insecure woman pining over a guy that essentially played her for the fool that she is. If anything Ashley should be a lesson to any young girl out there watching this that there are just some guys that are looking to play you. What is worst is that ABC rather than let her off the hook by showing her the videos of Bentley saying that he was playing her, they let the drama play out in a sick way just to punish this poor girl in the hopes to get more ratings. And you thought that Disney was a nice company, shame on you (ABC is owned by Disney if you were unaware).
So next week we got a quick preview of Ashley having to contain herself from jumping into bed with Bentley right then and there in Hong Kong as I'm sure that he will tell her what he was really thinking. Why would he be honest now? I'm sure that it's a deal with ABC, he gets a trip to Hong Kong and gets to let his infamy grow so that he can be a special villain on Bachelor pad (oh wow do I pay attention to this set of shows). At which time Chris Harrison can stop looking annoyed at Ashley and the guys can start rejecting roses from her once she comes clean with them.
And seriously why wouldn't they reject a rose from this bimbo (yes that is the correct term, I looked it up). She obviously has no interest in any of the guys outside of wanting to be the center of their attention. There is no chemistry between her or any of the guys because she has spent so much time thinking about Bentley (aaahhhhhhhhhhh, Bentley......) And to top it off, as Jen and I were talking, she's not ready for a relationship anyway, she is focused on her career and too worried about having fun rather than settling down (again, see last season). If you ask me she's basically one step up from stripper pole dancer, where the back story is that Daddy didn't love her enough and she does it so that she can feel special from other men.
But I could go on about Ashley for ages, instead let's get to the meat of the episode last night...
First off the date with the Elephant whisperer, who had about as much personality as his J Crew red and blue stripped shorts. Wasn't it so cute how they kind of matched outfits? Anyway nothing was saying romance like walking around in the flea market shopping for tourist bargains and street Thai food. The best moment of the date being where they were posed in front of some ancient temple but weren't allowed to kiss because it was taboo. Ok seriously ABC this is where you are tripping over yourself to try and make something out of nothing. The goal of the shot was to make it look like there was some built up sexual tension between the two of them, instead what we got was an awkward conversation about the weather (ok maybe it wasn't about the weather, but were you really paying attention at that point either?). The date mercifully ending in the middle of a neat flower arrangement with the two of them kissing and some guy spitting fire. I guess that this was supposed to be the firey release of all that tension from the day. Seriously ABC, just stop your embarrassing yourself here.
Date 2, the group date...
"Gentlemen, welcome to fight club" man would I have loved to have seen Tyler Durden pop out and start making soap (sorry had to reassert some masculinity), I'm sure Ames saw him anyway, probably told the doctor that he fell down some stairs. Ok enough with the Fight Club jokes, they were for me.
My question with the whole boxing thing was, why? Was it to make it look like they were fighting over Ashley, if so wouldn't you volunteer to get your ass kicked? Or was it to make them look like manly men? Or just to put one of the guys in pink shorts to get a couple quick jokes? Honestly there wasn't another color than Pink in the whole rainbow?
"Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?" - Reservoir Dogs
My guess is that the whole thing was kind of a set up where at least one of them was going to get hurt and ABC knew it. The question being how would Ashley respond to the guy that got hurt, would she rush to his bedside to see if he was ok? Uh nope, bye Ames, I have all these other guys to go spend time with who are concious. Was it to see if she was going to be attracted to the "toughest" guy there? Didn't really matter anyway, the whole time the blood sport was going on all she could think about was Bentley anyway. So go ahead guys beat the crap out of each other, she "really cares"...
The best three moments on the rest of the date were. One when Ashley was feeling bad for some reason and Ryan decided that it was a great time to just talk about himself, now I see why she likes him. Two when Ames shows up and looks like he just landed on another planet, that was great. And Third when she game the rose to the first guy that said he needed reassurance, and not the guy that was sent to the hospital, classy!
And finally the 2 on 1 date, since they already stole my Mad Max joke, I guess I can't make another one. Let's just call this date what it was douches for elephants, which honestly might have been more interesting (note to self hit up youtube to test that theory... I'm kidding, I'll use justin.tv =) ). Right out of the gate Sir William tells Ashley that the other guy (don't know his name or care) was talking about looking into online dating when he got back after the show. Instantly she gets up and tells the other guy that the date is over and that he's taking the first raft back to the states. Way to go Ashley, I'm sure he was a douche, but you didn't even talk to him, classy!
Later on you kind of knew what was coming, Sir William being the awesome uneducated cell phone salesman that he is was feeling pretty awesome for himself. Right up until Ashley decided that she was changing service providers (ok that was cheesy).
In the end it's sad that JP and Ames seem to actually like Ashley, why is beyond me, but hey someone for everyone right. And since those guys seem pretty cool, hopefully for them they will find what they are looking for.
Until next week (oh yeah I might just have to keep this up, hell I'm watching this train wreck anyway) stay classy!
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